By long forbearing is a prince persuaded, and a soft tongue breaketh the bone. Proverbs 25:15.

The broken Christians are meek and lowly in heart, this is the reason why they don’ speak lofty or proudly, but softly and wisely. Though, certain people speaks softly to deceive, while some men are trained to welcome customers with soft words, or wise in themself to know how to answer or ask something from others softly, but softness of expression is a beauty and fruit of a genuine spiritual brokeness in a believer’s life, but not in the absence of zealousness to be on fire for the Lord: we can be soft and be on fire for the Lord. We can speak with power or speak to power, but softly and graciously. Luke 4:32.

Spiritual power and authority is not to shout or being disrespectful to people. God will manifest, establish and increase his power and authority in us when we are not foolishly driven by it to vaunt – behold my servant, whom I have chosen; my beloved, in whom my soul is well pleased: I will put my spirit upon him, and he shall shew judgment to the Gentiles. He shall not strive, nor cry; neither shall any man hear his voice in the streets. A bruised reed shall he not break, and smoking flax shall he not quench, till he send forth judgment unto victory. And in his name shall the Gentiles trust. Matthew 12:18-21.

Is it not the gentle Dove, but not a piercing sword, one of the symbols of the spirit? Civilized men and women knows how to speak softly, but the soft word coming from the believer is the gracious word which the Lord was known for – and all bare him witness, and wondered at the gracious words which proceeded out of his mouth. And they said, Is not this Joseph’s son? Luke 4:22.

Like Jesus, believers must seek for the tongue of the learned, that they might know how to speak a word in season to him that is weary. The believer who does not have the patient, power, wisdom and ability to speak softly, notwithstanding of his gifts and the unction of God upon him will found it difficult to gather fruits unto eternal life. Believers are comanded to speak softly, not to speak or respond roughly or arrogantly – let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man. Colossians 4:6.

The tone – attitide of the words of our communication and interaction have power of positive or negative effects, infleunce and result on one who speaks as well on the hearer. How we speak what we say counts a lot, how we answer what we heard is also very important. Our manner of speech and presentation of words can bring us down to degredation: cause us to lose respect or to earns it. It can elevate us to honour or diminish us in value. It can make us desirable, adorable and endearing or undesirable and loathsome, cause peace or stir up anger – A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. Proverbs 15:1.

The responses coming out from the lips of a believer should drop as an honeycomb, not to flatter, but to put gladness, reasurance of friendliness and joy in the heart of his hearers. Honey and milk should be under his tongue: thy lips oh my spouse, drop as honeycomb: honey and milk are under thy tongue: and the smell of thy garments – the tongue of the wise is health. The songs of Solomon. 4:10-11. Proverbs 12:18.

From the book of Matthew Chapter 15, verses 21 – 28, we read about the encounter of a non Jewish woman who went to Jesus and his dsiciples, seeking for the healing of her daughter vexed with an unclean spirit. Her need was genuine, troublesome, and burdensome and she had grown desperate under it to see the destruction which that evil spirit caused her child. it, not able to endure, she must be rid of it. She made her approach in faith, and with confidence and politeness she made her request known, both to the disciple and before the Lord, and his disciples came and besought him, saying, send her away; for she crieth after us – And, behold, a woman of Canaan came out of the same coasts, and cried unto him, saying, Have mercy on me, O Lord, thou son of David; my daughter is grievously vexed with a devil.

The Lord told her before the crowd that he was not sent but unto the lost sheep of the house of Israel, so he declared not meet to take the children’s bread, and to cast it to dogs. She will not argue against her identity, but her focus, persistence and intention only lenghtens her conversation with the Lord, with her reasonable answer, trying and seeking to tap from the compassion of the Lord, the preserver of man and beasts (Psalms 36:6), And she said, Truth, Lord: yet the dogs eat of the crumbs which fall from their masters’ table – yes, I am trully your dog, but a righteous man wisely considers the life of his beasts,  – then Jesus answered and said unto her, O woman great is thy faith: be it unto even as thou wilt. And her daughter was made whole from that very hour. Proverbs 12:10. 

Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones. Proverbs 16:24), but harsh, arrogant, unlearned words, insultive or provocative response gives birth to heated spirit. The wringing of the nose bringeth forth blood: so the forcing of wrath bringeth forth strife, but a wise and humble believer knows how to pacify wrath and strife. He will not irritate the passion of others with hard and foul words which are painful to a kind, tender and innocent spirit. Proverbs 30:33.

A wholesome tongue is a tree of life. Proverbs 15:4. Those who teaches and corrects in meekness speaks softly, not with loftiness, not to grieve others, and not from an angry spirit. When a Spirit filled believer reprove with his tongue, it is to teach and correct, but not to cause further damages to wound the heart deeper, for his words are like goads, and as nails fastened by the masters of assemblies, which are given from one shepherd. Ecclesiastes 12: 11. Note: those who will speak or respond back with soft words must know how to turn deaf ears to hard and insultive words, full of patient and wiiling to walk away from strife of tongue – they also that seek after my life lay snares for me: and they that seek my hurt speak mischievous things, and imagine deceits all the day long. But I, as a deaf man, heard not; and I was as a dumb man that openeth not his mouth. Thus I was as a man that heareth not, and in whose mouth are no reproofs. Psalms 38:12-14.

Some people thinks that when they speak and behave rudely and harshly to others in an arrogance of spirit, being insultive and aggressive in words, they exercise to establish their spiritual authority, but they are ill-mannered men and women of meaness spirit- there is one that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health. Proverbs 12:18.  It is ungodly and inappropriate for a child of God to speak grievously or foolishly: it is also bad in the sight of God to make any in-appropriate demand on others to stir up their anger. Ephesians 5:4. 

At first, soft tongue is important to evert troubles, at the end, a child of God should be ready to answer a fool according to his foolishness, if he will not refrain (the beginning of strife is like letting out water – as from a small break in a dam; first it trickles and then it gushes; therefore abandon the quarrel before it breaks out and tempers explode. Proverbs 17:4) from his foolish ways of response, learn to be wise and be stop speaking foolishly, lest he be wise in his won sight. Proverbs 26:4.

Spiritual brokenness is not a weakness, but a lifestyle, derives through divine trainings and experiences. Meekness is a description of a personality, like Christ described himself as meek: so, spiritual brokenness is the descriptive presentation of beauty, glory, virtue and presence of Christ image in his saints. The soft believer will not utter any intimidate remark on others: they don’t make jest or comports in any way to arouse any rightful – justifiable anger or response from others – And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head. And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the lord. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them. 2. Kings 2: 23-25. 

The soft tongue is the answer from the meekness of wisdom from the believer wise as serpent, but gentle as a dove. Agree with thine adversary quickly, whiles thou art in the way with him; lest at any time the adversary deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee to the officer, and thou be cast into prison. A soft answer is the wisdom of word and expression. A man may by his wisdom able to affect that which he could never compass by his strength, and may overcome those who are able to physically overpower him – there was a little city, and few men within it; and there came a great king against it, and besieged it, and built great bulwarks against it: now there was found in it a poor wise man, and he by his wisdom delivered the city; yet no man remembered that same poor man. Then said I, wisdom is better than strength: nevertheless the poor man’s wisdom is despised, and his words are not heard. Ecclesiastes 9:14-16. Matthew 5:25-26. 

When Gideon was accused of marginalization by the men of Ephraim after his victorious return from the battle against the Midianites, not knowing that it was God who has forbiden him from going to the battle with multitudes of men. Except Gideon was wise enough, to answer the furious accussation back with a soft tongue, to turn away the wrath of the men of Ephraim, when they accused him of tribalism, to paint him as an incompetent leader over Israel, a legitimate ground to resist Gideon as their leader – And the men of Ephraim said unto him, Why hast thou served us thus, that thou calledst us not, when thou wentest to fight with the Midianites? And they did chide with him sharply. And he said unto them, what have I done now in comparison of you? Is not the gleaning of the grapes of Ephraim better than the vintage of Abiezer? God hath delivered into your hands the princes of Midian, Oreb and Zeeb: and what was I able to do in comparison of you? Then their anger was abated toward him, when he had said that.  Judges 8:1-3.           

This was the wisdom of response, – soft tongue the son of King Solomon – Reroboam ignored and despised to lose ten tribes of Israel to Jehobaom, the son of Nebat, Solomon’s servant. While the elders of the land advised him to use soft tongue before the people who asked for changes in the administrative systems of Israelis goverment, he chose to listen to the wicked and foolish advised of the young men of his age to answer with harsh response to the demand of the poeple which caused the rebellion against him and the kingdom was divided into two. 1 Kings 12:1-15.

Their sorrows shall be multiplied that hastens after another god – King Ahaziah, reproved and condemned by Prophet Elijah sent from God to bring his idolatrous sin to light and judgement, was penalised by death sentence. Angry and bitter to challenge the authority of heaven from God’s servant, the king sent three groups of fifty soldiers with a captain for each group to arrest the man of God.

The first captain over the first fifty soldiers sent with the arrest warrant, ordered the man of God to come down from the mountain to be taken to the king for punishment for rebuking and prophesying death to the king. Elijah decreed and released fire in response, saying, ‘If I am a man of God, let fire come down from heaven and consume you and your fifty’ and the Lord confirmed the word of his servant, and fire came down from heaven, and the first company were consumed by devouring fire. The same judgement of fire came down from heaven the second time upon the second captain with his group of fifty soldiers as they sought to arrest Elijah by military personnels, power and ammunitions.

Harsh and proud words brings punishment and trouble from God and men; discreet and gracious speech brings blessing and safety from God and men. Proverbs 14:3. The captain over the third group of fifty soldiers approached the prophet Elijah with a differnt method to negotiate his arrest through soft tongue – the application of the law of wisdom and kindness from the mouth of a virteous woman. Proverbs 31:26. 

By long forbearing is a prince persuaded, And a soft tongue breaketh the bone. Proverbs 25:15. In the wise discharge of his duty, the captain over the third fifty soldiers willingly surrendered himself with his group of fifty soldiers to the mercy and understanding of the prophet he was sent to arrest, begging – And the third captain of fifty went up, and came and fell on his knees before Elijah, and besought him, and said unto him, O man of God, I pray thee, let my life, and the life of these fifty thy servants, be precious in thy sight. Behold, there came fire down from heaven, and burnt up the two captains of the former fifties with their fifties: therefore let my life now be precious in thy sight. And the angel of the Lord said unto Elijah, go down with him: be not afraid of him. And he arose, and went down with him unto the king. 2 Kings 1:1-15.

David was deeply hurt by the mistreatments, insults and humiliation of Nabal for his kindness. He was so much angry to take the law into his own hand to kill Nabal and to destroy everything about him. But Nabal was blessed with a very wise and intelligent woman who knows how to use the law of kindness of soft word from her mouth to avert danger, appease wrath, and to send the sword, involuntarily back into its sheath. She rushed out to meet David on the way to prevent him from revenge against her household, imploring, I pray thee, forgive the trespass of thine handmaid for the Lord will certainly make my lord a sure house; because my lord fighteth the battles of the Lord and evil hath not been found in thee all thy days. Yet a man is risen to pursue thee, and to seek thy soul: but the soul of my lord shall be bound in the bundle of life with the Lord thy God; and the souls of thine enemies, them shall he sling out, as out of the middle of a sling. And it shall come to pass, when the Lord shall have done to my lord according to all the good that he hath spoken concerning thee, and shall have appointed thee ruler over Israel; that this shall be no grief unto thee, nor offence of heart unto my lord, either that thou hast shed blood causeless, or that my lord hath avenged himself: but when the Lord shall have dealt well with my lord, then remember thine handmaid. And David said to Abigail, blessed be the Lord God of Israel, which sent thee this day to meet me. And blessed be thy advice, and blessed be thou, which hast kept me this day from coming to shed blood, and from avenging myself with mine own hand. For in very deed, as the Lord God of Israel liveth, which hath kept me back from hurting thee, except thou hadst hasted and come to meet me, surely there had not been left unto Nabal by the morning light any that pisseth against the wall.1 Samuel 25: 28-34.

The same week, Abigail was rewarded from God for her soft tongue, she became David’s wife as God judged and killed Nabal to avenge David his servant. Listen to her wise and soft words when she heard and learnt that David called for her to be married, And when the servants of David were come to Abigail to Carmel, they spake unto her, saying, David sent us unto thee, to take thee to him to wife. And she arose, and bowed herself on her face to the earth, and said, Behold, let thine handmaid be a servant to wash the feet of the servants of my lord. 1 Samuel 25: 40 -41.

By the way, believers should not speak against the ruler of their people, but to pray for them, and leave them to God for any judgement. I read a deep thought and expression from a late president of Uganda, Idi-Amin, warning his country men the danger of grievous word, by saying, I can guarantee your freedom of speech, but I cannot guarantee your freedom after the speech. This means that you can say whatever comes to your heart, but try to think and weigh the consequence of the freedom of your speech, lest you land yourself into a big problem.

I learnt about the story of a young lady, beautiful and dynamic, rich but arrogant, about to marry to a young pastor after dating for almost a year. Few months to their marriage, after a lots of spending and preparations, mainly from the young rich lady, they were invited to a birthday where the celebrant came late for the couple pastor to pray for her. She was so angry and speaks lofty, but her husband to be calmed her down, encouraged her to be more more patience towards all men as an essential virtue for their ministry. Back at home, there was no communication between them at that night. The next morning, the pastor speak by saying, i think i deserve more respect than this, for it takes me a lot of humility for the love i have for you to be with you. This kind of behaviour is not good for any Christian home and ministry, we should think and pray well, if this is the kind of life and behaviour to live and manifest in the marriage and ministry. He finally say, a broken coursthsip is better than a broken marriage.

She became very angry in response, you are saying I am not good enough for you, go out then and look for a better wife for you and your ministry. She refused to learn, and will not accept the reproof of love to make things better in the future, but try to intimidate the poor pastor by her charm and money (charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30), thus they ended up the relationship: the foolish woman, because of her money, respond harshly and foolishly to destroys her own house – The poor will speak with supplications, and the rich will speak roughly. Proverbs 18:23.